Embracing Madness
by boppit
Summary: After leaving wonderland and returning back home, Alice is plagued by dreams of a certain Hatter and is teetering on the edge of madness. what will happen when she returns to the world and the man she loves?
1. Fighting Back Maddness

**Fighting back madness**

"HATTER!"

It had happened again, Alice had dreamed of him, calling her name, calling her back to wonderland. She had tried running, but it was useless, the closer she got to him the further away he seemed.

She sobbed once again and finally let the madness, which had been creeping up on her since she left wonderland all those months ago take a firm hold.

Alice had changed since she'd returned to her "home", her once golden hair now lay limp and lifeless in her head, it clung to the tears that fell down her cheeks. Her glowing skin was now pale and sallow, from spending so many hours alone in her room. But the most noticeable change was in her eyes, once a blue so bright, they could rival the midday sky in colour, they were now dull and grey. All the lights of imagination and curiosity had left them, with only the first glimmers of insanity taking their place.

Alice sighed and looked out her window. It was early morning, the first few rays of sun were just starting to seep into the room. She was about to settle back into bed when there was a quick knock sound on her door. She looked up and watched as her mother stepped into the room and cautiously approached her.

"Good morning mother" Alice wished dutifully. She didn't hate her mother, but she knew that the woman didn't understand her and was weary of her due to her current state of mind. _Oh I wonder what she would be like if she ever met the Hatter_, this thought made Alice giggle, earning her a disapproving glare from Mrs Kingsley.

"Alice, would you please compose yourself" she tutted before continuing. "I came to inform you that we have been invited to visit lord and lady Ascot today, and that you should get yourself looking presentable before meeting your sister and myself in the foyer in little over an hour please." Message delivered, the woman turned on her heel before flouncing out of the room.

Alice groaned, _lovely a day surrounded by snobby aristocrats, exactly what I wanted to do today_, she thought to herself. However another part of her brain screamed at her and admonished her stupidity,_ Alice you air brained ninny! This is our chance to get back to wonderland!_, this prospect made a very wide, very Cheshire like grin spread across her face. Wonderland meant only one thing to her at the moment…a chance to see her Hatter.

Filled with a sudden sense of excitement, Alice skipped around her room, putting more effort into her appearance than she had since she'd returned. And if she'd have looked, she would have noticed that for one split second, her eyes flashed back to blue.


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole Again

**Down the Rabbit Hole Again**

"Alice, why do you insist on wearing that ridiculous hat all the time? It doesn't even match your outfit, would you kindly remove it?"

Alice couldn't believe it, how dare her mother ask her to remove her hat, nobody ever asked her to remove her hat. It was special.

The hatter had made the hat for her and had given it to her as a gift before she had left wonderland, it was in the exact same style as his own, only it was made out of different shades of blue fabrics and was a lot smaller so it could perch delicately upon her head, also like the hatters hat, Alice's had various items sticking out of the sash wrapped around it, she had a ladies pocket watch, feathers shed found as she took her daily walk around the garden, and of course a teaspoon to honour the hats maker was set neatly on the side. Alice knew she looked a little peculiar, but she didn't care because it reminded her of him.

"NO MOTHER I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT REMOVE IT!" Alice shouted angrily. Her mother and sister took an involuntary step back in surprise, not because of the tone of voice Alice had used, they were quite used to her mood swings by now, but because they could have sworn that as she shouted, her eyes had changed colour.

Alice sighed when she noticed the effect she'd had on the two and mumbled and apology to the still frozen figures before brushing past them and leaving for the carriage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes Alice couldn't understand her outbursts, she could be set off by the silliest of things. She remembered her first public outburst, it was also the strangest. It had taken place about two months after her return "home", she had been visiting town with her mother, she'd happened to look at the time, it was four o'clock in the afternoon, and for some unfathomable reason had decided it was tea time. She had informed her mother of this and had received in answer _"Alice we may take tea together when we return home"_, this hadn't satisfied Alice at all _"but mother"_ she'd responded _"its brilig, brillig and time for tea, we will go home now"_, her mother of course had refused, it was this refusal which sent Alice over the edge, she remembered screaming at her mother in front of everybody, before stomping off to the nearest tea room. That was also the first time her family had begun to question her sanity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The journey to Lord Ascotts was extremely uncomfortable, full of long silences and the occasional worried glance thrown in Alice's direction. Her mother and sister were once again treading eggshells around her, afraid to provoke yet another change in Alice's demeanour. Alice however found their behaviour rather amusing and spent a majority of the ride giggling at their foolishness.

When the carriage finally came to a halt at their destination, a collective sigh escaped the group, as all of them were very harry to be finally free of the oppressive atmosphere of the carriage. One at a time, the three stepped out and smother down their attire. Alice grimaced at her dress, since the start of her recent bout of madness, her sister had decided it would be in Alice's best interests if she picked out Alice's clothes for her, as Alice's recent "flamboyant" fashion choices had became an embarrassment to the family. This meant that Alice's wardrobe was now full of various shades of pink and purple, instead of her preferred blue, and that she had effectively became her sisters living doll. Alice glared at her sister 'bloody do gooder, sticking her nose where it ought not be.'

Alice would have succumbed to another of her outbursts again if it hadn't been for Lord Ascott

Greeting her and bringing her back to reality.

"Miss Kingsley how are you, i do believe it has been a while since we last had the great pleasure of your company"

"I am well sir, and you are correct it has been a very long time" she smiled in return.

"Good, good, now if you would all care to follow me, i believe that my wife has arranged for us to take tea in the garden today."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice was bored, bored as bread. She had spent the previous two hours answering inane questions about her health and recent activities. She was also being forced to listen to Lady Ascott go into great detail into recent events in her family's lives and brag about her horrid son recent engagement.

She was so sick of being patronized and pressured into being yet another of society's pawns.

"May I please be excused" she finally asked, after what she had deemed was a respectable amount of time.

"Of course dear, but do hurry back, you simply must here this story about my dear Hamish" replied Lady Ascott.

Alice smiled in thanks, before letting it turn into a smirk at the irony of the woman's statement, Alice had no intention of returning quickly, In fact she had no intention of returning at all. Alice walked calmly away from the group until she was safely out of sight, only then did she allow herself to run.

She ran and ran and ran until her lungs burned in protest, but still she didn't stop. She was searching, she knew it had to be around her somewhere but where was it?

Finally she saw it, the wonderfully enticing dark abyss of the rabbit hole, she came to a stop at its edge before looking down into its depths, she could see nothing beyond the darkness, but she knew this was the right one, she could feel it. She allowed herself one last look at the world that tried to imprison her and make her into one of its chess pieces before jumping one more into wonderland.

"Here I come Hatter!"


	3. Home

**Sorry I don't usually do the whole authors notes thing but I thought that just this once it was necessary to apologise for my tardiness on updating this story. I had GCSE's at school which had to take priority and I have just been really busy since then and I guess this just got pushed to the bottom of my list of things to worry about…anyway since I have a fair bit of time off now…I promise to at least try to keep this story up to date…thanks for all the great reviews I've been receiving…love you all ( my little yogurt pots)**

**BOPPIT xxx**

**Chapter 3 - Home**

She was falling again, just like before, but this time she wasn't afraid, but rather excited. Alice allowed herself to revel in the feeling, she giggled profusely as she recognized some of the objects that zoomed past. She dodged the piano, rocked in the chair and bounced a few time on a rather fluffy bed, before finally being spewed out into the room of doors, landing in an ungraceful and rather undignified heap.

After detangling herself from the twisted folds of her dress, she managed to get herself into the correct and upright position, from here she brushed the imaginary dust off her precious hat and set it unceremoniously back onto her head. Feeling whole once again (for being without her hat left her feeling decidedly exposed), Alice started to take in her surroundings, a dazzling smile overtook her pretty face as she recognised where she was.

"I'm home" she whispered into the quiet, "I'M HOME!"

There was no confusion this time over what she was to do next. Alice raced over to table in the centre of the room and pocketed the tiny gold key. She gulped down the pischsalver without a second thought and promptly collapsed into a coughing fit as she had failed to recall its foul taste.

"Hurry up, hurry up" she mumbled. Impatient for the potion to finish its job.

Alice finally stopped shrinking at around three inches tall, a wretched height in Alice's opinion, but necessary to fit through the tiny door the led into Underlands gardens.

The garden was beautiful, no it was even more than beautiful, it was…it was…oh well Alice would have to think of a word later because none of the words in Alice's vocabulary did the wondrous garden justice. The place was even brighter than before, if that was possible, there were colours Alice hadn't even seen before. It seemed Underland was recovering well under the rule of Mirana, the white queen.

Alice quickly located the Upelcuchen, which the white rabbit had told her he would leave for her for when she returned, and set off wondering through the gardens, laughing wildly to herself and spinning around in circles, in an attempt to take in everything at once. She knew she was hopelessly lost, but at this moment in time she really didn't mind at all.

"Having fun are we?" a low rumbling voice sounded from seemingly nowhere. Alice stopped mid twirl and searched for the owner of the mysterious voice. Seeing nobody around, she called out, knowing exactly who it must be.

"Chess! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

She waited a few moments but nobody answered and know body came, until.

"looking for me?" the voice purred into her ear.

Alice slowly looked over her shoulder before grinning and twirling around quickly.

"Oh Chess!" she called out as she flung herself at the smiling form that was the Cheshire Cat, catching him in what must have been a very painful, bone crushing hug.

"I've missed you so .so much, I've missed everybody so much. Can you help me find them" she asked a little breathlessly.

"Find them? I didn't realise they were lost, in fact, you seem to be the lost one" the cat quipped cheekily, earning him a weak glare and a smack to the paw from Alice.

"Come on then, lets get you un-lost" the cat chuckled "we've all been waiting for your return you know, you've been sorely missed. Some in particular have missed you quite strongly." the cat gave Alice one of its trademark grins and a wink, causing her to blush, she hoped the Hatter would be happy to see her again, she couldn't wait to see him.


	4. Please Stop Crying

**Chapter 5 - Please Stop Crying**

"So Alice, where would you like to head first?" Chess called from over his shoulder, as he danced through the air and between the large purple trees.

Alice blushed pink and ducked her head hoping her hat would help hide her embarrassing reaction, she knew exactly where she would like to go, and she suspected Chess knew as well but was just tormenting her again.

"erm…well…I am feeling quite thirsty actually… so can we go somewhere we can have a drink." Alice replied quietly, hoping the cat would take the hint. (It was all so embarrassing to Alice).

Chess chuckled at the state Alice had gotten herself into "so I take it you would like to visit a certain mad tea party?"

"Oh yes please" Alice replied a little too quickly, causing the devious cat to laugh even more and Alice to blush even darker.

"Ok, ok, but I must warn you the Hatter has…changed since you left. I wont tell you in what way, you will have to see for yourself" Cheshire then did something unexpected. He frowned.

Alice's eyes clouded over and a greyness swept over them as she worried, she had never ever seen the Cheshire Cat frown, what ever had happened to the Hatter must be terrible.

Alice felt like she had been walking for hours her feet were sore and beginning to protest with every step, at times she felt like sitting down and resting, but then she would remember what Chess had said about the Hatter and pushed herself onwards.

Finally the odd little pair came up to a clearing in the woods surrounded by a rickety old picket fence, in the centre stood an old windmill and extremely long, extremely cluttered tea table. The whole place was still as dark as it had been when the red queen ruled.

"Here we are" sighed Chess, his grin faltered as he looked at the scene in front of him. Alice noticed this and she too looked out to the clearing. She was shocked, the life seemed to have been sucked from the place, no lively music filled the air and no smell of tea reached her nose. When she looked to the tea table there was no March Hare and Mally the dormouse seemed to have disappeared as well. The once delicious cakes and scones had moulded and no steam rose from the long unused tea pots.

For a moment Alice couldn't see the Hatter anywhere, but after further inspection she found him tucked into a high winged chair covered by the shade of an overgrown tree. He was leaning over his hat, which was perched on his knees, his bedraggled hair hung over his face, shielding it from view.

Alice made her way closer and realised he was crying quietly to himself, quiet sobs shook his overly thin frame, the sight cause tears to fall from Alice's own now eyes, which had once again turned stormy grey. She looked to Chess who hung his head and frowned once again.

"he's been like that for a long time now, he wont speak to anybody, he barely eats. He no longer drinks tea, he just cries even in his sleep. The March Hare and Mally moved to the castle, nothing they did could help him. He will look at you if you speak, but it hurts to look back, there's so much hurt and despair in his eyes now, its like he has simply given up."

By now the tears were streaming down Alice's own cheeks, she turned and made her way closer to the Hatter. Setting herself at his feet, she reached out and took one of his cold hands into her own.

"Hatter" she whispered, he didn't reply, just continued to cry, "Hatter please look at me."

He slowly turned his face to look at her, Slice gasped the green eyes were no longer that brilliant emerald green she had come to love, they were now greyer than her own, tears still flowing openly down his gaunt cheeks.

"Oh Hatter what has happened to you?" Alice's voice cracked and she started to cry harder. She lifter her hand to the Hatters cheek and used her thumb to softly brush away his tears, her hand continued up and pushed the matted hair from his face, before once again dropping to meet her other hand on his knee.

"I want my old Hatter back…my mad, crazy, wonderful Hatter" she cried, the grey of her own eyes deepening until they were almost Identical to the Hatters, she lay her head on her hands, her tears falling through her fingers and soaking into the Hatters trouser leg.

"please stop crying" she whispered "please stop crying" " please stop crying"

Alice didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, it wasn't until she heard the pitter patter of paws on the ground behind her and the groaning of the chair next to her that she remembered Chess was still there.

"Alice?…Alice he's not going to move" he said gently

"YES HE WILL…HE WILL SNAP OUT OF IT AND COME BACK TO ME!" Alice screeched, her head snapping up and her eyes flashing from grey to a dangerous red, startling the poor cat. "he has too" she added, her eyes returning to grey.

"Alice how long have your eyes been changing colour like the Hatters?" Chess asked worried.

"what do you mean?… my eyes don't change colour they are always blue" she replied puzzled, why did he think her eyes changed?

"no Alice the do change, just now they were grey but when you shouted they turned red. I think we need to get you to the queen…now" the cat made to grab Alice's arm and drag her away, but she pulled out of his grasp suddenly angry again.

"I WILL NOT LEAVE THE HATTER HERE, HE'S BEEN ALONE LONG ENOUGH…IF I GO HE'S COMING WITH ME" Alice nodded her head at the end of her tirade proving her point that she wouldn't move without him.

"but Alice you need to get to the castle, this could be serious" the cat tried again

"I DON'T CARE!" she shouted again trying to drive the point home, then more calmly she added "go to the queen, get her to send a carriage, the Bandersnatch, anything, just get me something big enough to move me and the Hatter to the castle"

"ok Alice… just don't move…stay right here" the poor cat was obviously worried sick about leaving her.

Once chess had left to the castle Alice sighed and looked up to the Hatter again, she was a little surprised by what she saw, It seemed like his crying had slowed down, some of the old tears that had fell had dried up, and his eyes had changed to a lighter grey.

Alice took these as positive signs and smiled, her colour of her own eyes getting lighter in response. She hooked her fingers under the hatters chin and tilted his head so that he was looking directly into her eyes. "you're going to be ok Hatter" she promised as she slowly caressed his cheek " I will stay with you until your better and yourself again" she swallowed and licked her lips before leaning closer to his frail frame "because I love you" she whispered into his ear before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.


	5. Your MAD!

**Chapter 5 - Your MAD!**

When Alice pulled away from the Hatter and looked back at his face, she gasped in shocked delight, he was looking at her, properly looking at her, his eyes had changed to a watery green colour, he was no longer crying and he wore a small smile.

"Alice?" he croaked, his voice unused to the sudden use after months of being quiet, the small word was enough to make Alice grin from ear to ear, her eyes turning back to their usual deep blue again. "you came back" The Hatter seemed shocked at this.

"of course I came back Hatter…I promised I would"

"but why Alice…not that I didn't want to see you, of curse I wanted to see you, who wouldn't want to see you, your beautiful and smart and funny and…" the Hatter started rambling which only made Alice smile more because it meant he really was getting better, that is until she heard the last few things he'd said, which only served to make her blush.

"Hatter!" she called breaking his train of thoughts. "I came back too see one very special person"

"oh…I see…was it the queen" the Hatter said obviously mistaking what Alice meant, he bowed his head in resignation, withdrawing into himself once more.

Alice panicked not wanting him to cry again and cupped his face in her hands forcing him to look at her again. She smiled sweetly at him "no Hatter I came back to see you, my silly, silly pinwheel" she corrected before pressing another quick kiss to his forehead. Hatter blushed red, and smiled brightly at Alice, before a look of confusion crept onto his features.

"um Alice, why did you call me a pinwheel?" he questioned. Alice shrugged In reply,

"it just seemed appropriate… … …and it sound nice" Alice giggled a little madly "PINWHEEL!" she cried into the sky, before looking at Hatter, both stared at each other for a few seconds before collapsing into fits of laughter.

"oh Alice, you've gone mad" Hatter giggled, before adding in a mock serious voice "I like it" which of course set them off laughing again, of course Alice didn't think he meant it.

When Chess returned to the home of the Mad Hatter, he fully expected everything to be as he left it, an unmoving sad Hatter and an equally sad Alice. You can only imagine his surprise when he returned to see the Hatter and Alice shouting random words into the sky and laughing uncontrollably

"DUCK!"

"PLUCK!"

"PEACE!"

"ANCHOR!"

"CHESS!" that was Alice, she had just noticed the cat appear at the foot of the table and turned to give him a grin to rival his own "look what I did" she exclaimed pointing both hands at the Hatter who struck a superman pose which sent them laughing again.

"How on earth did you manage that?" the cat asked perplexed, everybody in Underland had attempted to help the Hatter at some point, but nothing had worked.

"I don't know" Alice replied, she genuinely didn't.

"I do" Called the Hatter excitedly, before looking directly at Alice "'twas the kiss from a beautiful girl" he sighed happily, before promptly falling off his chair as he pretended to swoon.

"Was it now?" Chess purred, clearly pleased with the answer, the fact that he was pleased only served to make Alice incredibly suspicious.

Alice helped Hatter up from his place on the floor before turning back to the Cat.

"Chess did the queen send anything to take us to the castle" she queried.

"Yes there's a carriage waiting on the path in the woods, I also to her a little about the whole eye colour incident earlier and your reluctance to leave the Hatters side, she said she believes she has an idea about what could be causing it but wants to do a little more research." He explained.

"what's wrong with Alice's eyes?" the Hatters voice was laced with worry

"They keep changing colour and we don't know why" Chess sighed, he hated having to keep repeating things.

"oh but that's easy, she's finally gone mad, bonkers, round the bend" the Hatter said sounding completely serious.

"how do you know that?" Alice wanted to know, this sudden revelation was shocking and the Hatters face erased any doubt in her mind that he might be joking.

"mine only started to change after I went mad, well after people told me I'd gone mad, I didn't know that I had gone mad, yay I made a rhyme! Anyway as I recall they stayed red for weeks because I was angry at a certain good for nothing cat" the Hatter explained, openly glaring at Chess by the end.

Alice was shocked "but there is no way I'm mad, I mean I would know if I'm mad, not that there's anything wrong with being mad, it's a perfectly good state of mind, in fact my favourite person is mad, so"

"ALICE!" Hatters voice broke her off mid rant, when Alice realized what had happened, she realised that what the Hatter had said was probably true, her reaction to this…she passed out.

"Oh dear, I guess she didn't take the news well" Chuckled Chess, earning himself a glare from Hatter, who bent down and scooped Alice's light body up into his arms and made his way to the carriage, it was harder than he thought it would be, but thought it must be due to his own weight loss.

When Alice next woke up, she found herself in a pure white room, which was strange as she didn't recall getting there, she couldn't see much from her position except that the room was incredibly large, there was a dressing table and long mirror, there was a glass door which seemed to lead onto a balcony, and another three doors which she hadn't a clue where they went, she guessed one must be the bathroom and another had to be the door out.

She felt something move on the bed, which she only just realised was also humongous. And saw the Hatter asleep in a chair. His feet propped up on the bed in front of him, Alice smiled, she really did love him, she took in his appearance. He must have washed, his hair was clean and no longer matted, his clothes seemed fresh, his hat was perched on his head and he just looked altogether a lot tidier. He was getting better quickly.

She sat watching him for a few more minutes before she heard him sigh and his eyes flutter open, she smiled at him and he returned it.

"morning" they greeted in unison, earning a few quiet peels of laughter

"Did you sleep well?" Hatter asked, as he stretched and tried to relax the ache in his muscles he'd got from sleeping in a chair all night.

"Better than you it seems" Alice said in way of a reply "why don't you get on the bed? you'll be far more comfortable" Alice blushed, what would her mother say to her inviting a man onto her bed.

"I cant it goes against decorum" sighed Hatter, still trying to undo the knots in his back

"Oh dash decorum!…get on here, nobody will be in for a few hours anyway, its far too early to be up, its still dark out" explained Alice, she had never been one for following societies rules, so why should she start now?

"Ok if you're sure" the Hatter replied. Alice grinned and pulled the covers back for him, he was shocked, he didn't think she mean actually get under the covers, still he didn't mind, he was just concerned about the views she'd been brought up with.

Alice saw his hesitation and decided she had better set things straight, "Hatter if your worried that I have been taught that this sort of thing is wrong, I promise I've never cared much for what other people think and I doubt you do either, now please get into bed."

The Hatter was much more sure of himself now and crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over himself.

"that's better" Alice whispered before giving Hatter another quick kiss on the cheek and going back to sleep. Hatter soon followed smiling at the way his cheek tingled where she'd kissed it.


	6. Revelations

**Chapter 6 - Revelations**

Alice's eyes fluttered open as morning sunshine shone through the window straight onto her face, she felt so content, the bed she was lying in was comfortable and there was a comforting warmth pressed against her back. It wasn't until a few moments later, when the after effects of sleep had finally left her mind, that she finally registered a weight lying across her middle.

Alice took a peek behind her and realised that the 'comforting warmth' she was cuddling into was actually the Hatters chest and that the weight was actually his arm which was draped over her protectively, to say Alice was shocked would have been an understatement (although there was no denying that she was enjoying herself). At first Alice couldn't understand how she came to be in this situation, but it wasn't long before the events which had taken place the night before finally came rushing back to her. Alice blushed, even though she really didn't follow normal social standards, a part of her still couldn't believe she had invited a man to her bed, she let out a little giggle, oh what the Hatter must have thought of her.

Alice had been lying awake for about ten minutes watching a small spider make its way up the wall in front of her, she had tried to leave the bed but found that she couldn't, she was well and truly trapped by the Hatter, who's arm only seemed to tighten around her every time she attempted to move away. She was just in the middle of formulating a new approach to the problem when she heard the door click open.

She watched as Marana's head poked into the room, followed shortly by the rest of her body, the Queen smiled softly at Alice and took a seat by her bed, she still hadn't registered that the Hatter was also in the room. "Good morning Alice I…" she began, but quickly stopped when Alice's put a finger to her lips and motioned over her shoulder, to her sleeping friend. Marana's eyes widened, and she lowered her voice before starting again. "Alice may I ask why the Hatter is in your bed" she asked still a little stunned.

"When I woke up last night, he was sleeping in the chair your currently occupying and looked terribly uncomfortable, I told him to get into bed so he wouldn't be sore today. I promise its all innocent, but I'm sorry if its against some rule." Alice replied, her blush returning in full force

"Oh no, no, no my dear its fine. And despite what you've been taught, what you did is perfectly acceptable here, that is as long as noting untoward happens" The Queen assured Alice before getting on to the point of her visit. "Alice I came here to inform you that I have discovered some interesting information regarding you and Tarrant, it is because of this that I would like you to visit me in my chambers as soon as both of you are up and ready." Alice nodded her understanding, she was curious as to what was going on, but wouldn't push the matter any further for the moment. The Queen smiled at her before making her way to the door "I will have one of the maids bring Tarrant a change of clothes" she said, she was almost out the room when she turned around "oh and Alice there's no rush" she added knowingly before quickly making her exit.

Tarrant woke, his eyes slowly slipping open to greet a new day, his first sight of the morning made him smile, staring intently back at him were the cornflower blue eyes of Alice.

"Morning" he whispered before stifling a yawn, Alice grinned and returned the greeting before filling him in on the Queens visit.

"I suppose whatever she's found out, cant be bad or she would have told us straight away" Alice reasoned after the Hatter was up to date, "still…that's no reason for us to dilly dally" she added before preparing to leave the bed. Hatter surprised both of them when his arms pulled her back to his or a moment before letting her go. "Mirana had some fresh clothes delivered for you, you get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom" Alice instructed before heading off. The Hatter sighed, but did as he was told, he felt strangely empty without Alice in his arms.

"Tarrant, Alice come in quickly and take a seat what I'm about to tell you is very important" exclaimed the white queen as a way of greeting the two, this of course set them both on edge as to what the news could be, so they complied with her request and sat down next to each other on a white leather couch whilst Mirana took a seat on a matching chair across from them.

"Alice, as you know Chess came to me yesterday and told me about your eyes, and I also know that Tarrant has his own views on what may have caused them to begin changing colour like his own. But I have been doing some research and what I have found is rather shocking."

Alice looked up into the Hatters yellowing eyes and for the first time he got to see first hand what had gotten Chess worried, Alice's eyes were starting to dim again as the first threads of fear and worry crept into them. He reached out and took her hand in his own and gave it a slight squeeze hoping to reassure her enough to allow her to stay calm, it seemed to do the job as her eyes brightened again and she gave him a thankful smile.

Mirana let out a small smile of her own at the display before continuing with her explanation. "I don't know if you remember Alice, but on your first trip here, it was explained to you that within every being residing here in Underland there dwells a little madness. Do you remember?"

Alice thought for a while and yes she did recall somebody telling her this "Yes I remember."

"Good, well each persons madness is unique to them, it may be rather apparent and show itself clearly as if the case with Tarrant and his eyes, or it may be concealed and quiet, whatever the case may be no two peoples madness manifest in the same way." the queen paused letting what she had said sink into the couple, before continuing. "Now as champion of wonderland Alice, you are in fact a resident of Underland despite your recent time away, so it goes without saying that you too are mad. The strange thing is your madness shared traits with Tarrant's which as I've explained shouldn't be possible so I did some research into that as well and it turns out that the only time that this event occurs is when the two people involved are soul mates."

Quiet enveloped the room as both Alice and The Hater digested this new information.

"are you trying to say" spoke Alice finally "that me and Hatter are soul mates?"

"that is precisely what I'm trying to say" the Queen grinned, happy that they understood.

The two affected looked each other in the eye for a few seconds before simultaneously passing out.

"oh dear" gasped the queen before rushing for help "passing out must be catching"


	7. Explanations

**Again I would like to apologise for leaving this fic for so long, but I have just started 6 form and I kind of forgot about it (I know I know crappy excuse) but I genuinely will try to update when I can**

**Explanations**

Alice was so at peace, it felt like she was lying on a cloud, wherever she was, it was even more comfortable than the bed she'd found herself in earlier, there was a warmth beneath her ear and somebody was brushing her hair.

Opening her eyes, she realised she was lying across a settee in the queens chambers and her head was resting in the Hatters lap, who was looking down at her with worried eyes from his own upright sitting position, his fingers were gently pushing wayward strands of hair from off her face.

Smiling reassuringly at the Hatter, Alice sat up and snuggled into his side, much to the haberdashers surprise, not that he was about to complain about it though. A small cough sounded from the other side of the room, bringing the couple's attention to the brilliant smile of the white queen.

"As much as this scene isn't making me melt inside, I believe I must explain a few things to you about the situation you've found yourselves in." She chuckled causing the pair to turn a rather fetching shade of pink. "The bond between soul mates is very special and strong, especially once brought to completion. Now the bond between the two of you has already begun, subconsciously you both recognised your attraction for each other last time Alice visited Underland, even if you didn't act on it, this is stage one, it's at this point that you would have felt an undeniable need to protect and be near each other, you may have even given up one aspect of this for the other." Mirana explained to the two, who were hanging onto her every word.

"Ay that's true, when I first saw Alice, when she returned, I couldn't help but think of her as beautiful, the way her hair shined on her hair, the confusion on her face and that cute little pout she wore as she tried to figure everything out. Then when I sent her away on my hat, I did it to protect her, even though it killed me inside." He looked bashfully over at Alice from under his lashes as he said this, afraid that she didn't feel the same as well as embarrassed about his confession, but what she said in return shocked him. "I feel the same about you Tarrant, that's why I came back, I couldn't stand to be away from my Mad Hatter any longer", she leaned in and kissed him softly on the forehead before leaning down and whispering three words into his ear so quietly only he could hear them, before sitting back down and asking Mirana to continue with her explanation.

"when both parties feel the effects of stage one, it is considered complete, stage two is said to be the giving faze, both people give each other a gift, not a gift they can pick up, something more spiritual like happiness or hope, I won't ask you to reveal what these gifts were here, as they are personal but maybe later you can tell each other? Stage three is the protection from stage one, only enhanced. I know this stage has been completed because you both saved each other from the Jabberwocky during the Frabjous day. The fourth stage sees you two binding together, mind, body and soul to be as one. And finally the fifth stage in the completion of the bonding, where you consummate your bond, that is to say the event which will take place on your wedding night, should you choose to be married that is." Mirana practically beamed at the pair as the information sunk in.

The two looked from each other to Mirana and back again, to stunned to speak. Finally Alice broke the silence "does…does that mean that I…that is, that Tarrant and I have to get married? Because it seems to me that we have already done stages one, two and three…pardon the rhyme"

Mirana held back a giggle at the thought of her two favourite people in Underland getting married, and held onto her composure long enough to answer Alice " while it is preferable that the two of you are married, it is not essential, however if you to do indeed enter the marital state and complete the bond, it is said that the two people involved can receive certain gifts to help keep in contact with each other, it also allows the two to be apart from each other for further distances and longer amounts of time. Having said that though, I wouldn't rush to get married right now, you still have plenty of time for that. Now why don't you two go off and enjoy the day, its warm and I hear that the apple trees are finally ready to give away their fruits, if you have any more question or you just want to chat please come and see me" she suggested hoping to give the two some alone time.

"Ok thank you for your help your majesty, come on Hatter" Alice curtsied, before grabbing the still shocked hatters hand and pulling him from the room.


	8. A Quiet talk and Absolutely Nothing More

**Chapter 8- A Quiet talk and absolutely nothing more**

Alice dragged the Hatter down several hallways, increasing in pace until the two were practically jogging through the castle, in her haste, Alice ended up shoulder barging several maids and a few lords and ladies out of her path, earning her more than one disapproving and reproachful look. On her journey, she held a constant mumbling conversation with herself, which increased in volume the more worked up she became.

"I don't understand, I simply don't understand, I'm not mad or am I? I know I love the Hatter, but how does he feel about all of this? What do I do now? Who can I talk too? Ooh DADDY IF ONLY YOU WAS HERE YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS MESS!" Her consistent stream of ramblings were becoming more and more irate as she became further lost in the madness surrounding her, tears started to roll down her cheeks and her hands started to shake. She stopped in her tracks and let go of Tarrant's bandaged hand before turning away from him and walking away.

Tarrant was confused one moment he was being whispered to and cuddled by the girl he loved and the next she's in hysterics and there is nothing he can do for her. He watched her retreating figure and knew he had to do something. Pulling himself upright, he hurried to catch up with her and pulled her into an alcove in the hall they were in before addressing her.

"Alice, what's wrong?" he asked tentatively, as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his handkerchief. she looked up into his lime eyes and knew hers must be dull as well, she knew she was being unreasonable, hadn't she come back to wonderland to be with this man in front of her, hadn't she planned on spending the rest of her days with him, so why was she crying? She crumpled to the floor, the weight of the situation proving to be just too much for her.

"I don't know" she whispered before hanging her head, ashamed of him seeing her like this.

The Hatter had never seen her so broken, even when facing the jabberwocky she was so strong, he sat down beside her before pulling her prone form into his lap and wrapping his arms around her protectively.

They sat together like that for some time, both lost in their own thoughts, when Alice had a revelation, she looked up for the first time in what felt like a millennia and spoke, "Hatter I know what's wrong with me", she bit her lip and looked up at him through her long lashes, a blush bloomed across her face at what she was about to reveal, to Tarrant it was the loveliest sight he had ever seen, he waited for her to continue, "whilst I was away I always thought of you, I missed you and almost from the point I returned, I was planning how to get back to you, you see I had this thought in my mind that I would come and find you and I'd tell you how I felt and you would feel the same and we would live happily ever after." She giggled at this point and Tarrant smiled fetchingly down at her, "but I never took into account how you would feel, so when I returned I thought it only natural that you would feel the same, but when the Queen made her revelation, it suddenly dawned on me that maybe you never wanted this and maybe you only ever saw me as a friend, I never took your feelings into account" she looked up into his face her eyes glassy from unshed tears.

Tarrant couldn't believe it, he was a mad and unpredictable hatter, and here this beautiful woman was afraid that he wouldn't want her, if anything he should be surprised that she wanted him at all.

"Alice my dear, sweet, brave Alice, you must really be mad, madder than me in fact,but that's fine, I can help you deal with that (here she let out a small giggle), how could you think that I wouldn't want you, I've always loved you, when you was just a little girl intruding on my un birthday, I loved you as a friend, then when you came back to me and I saw the woman you had became, that friendship turned into something more. I think that's why I was crying and depressed when you found me, I was afraid you would see that I wasn't right for you and marry a lord in your own world, I couldn't stand the thought of losing you Alice…I love you, with all my heart and more." And as if he needed to prove the point, he hooked his calloused fingers under her chin, softly tilted her face up to his and pressed a gentle kiss directly on her plump, pink lips, she kissed him back, trying to put all of her feelings into it, to show him how much she really cared. When to two finally broke apart they were breathless but content, and safe in the knowledge that their love was strong.

"Come on, let me take you back to your room to clean up" suggested Tarrant. Alice went to stand, but before she could, she was lifted into his arms and pulled into his chest, she sniffed his aftershave and basked in his warmth, yes they were going to be happy.


End file.
